HOW TO NAME IT - Chap: Introduction
Dusk was closing in when I woke up. It was yet another melodramatic view outside the sliding doors. Hyatt is in fact one of the most beautiful places that I have stayed at, in Mumbai. After a period of Lazy moments on the bed that cushioned me well inside as how the jelly caves in for anything that's placed on it. was missing someone special, someone who can just be with me who can just lay there with me under the blue sky, watching at the numerous birds flying high above, yet talk nothing but hum the entire time spent under, oblivious to the fact that the time passed. Then this thought (don't know if this is stupid or something crazy, but a thought is a thought) flashed across, that while I wait for my lady who is brought into this world just for me, to come in, why dont I start living with her. Hence this collection of writings or scribblings would emboss the need for my untold love to be told. Rather folded paper mind to be unfolded to reveal whats on its white paper.
I do not remember when it all started, when we joined together in a nuptial knot, its more like a dream, that never had a logical beginning (at-least my dreams are such mysterious) . We are together, I feel as if my memory is fresh, I am unable to feel that I love her yet. May be because its an arranged marriage. But I feel the glee of a thousand watts which is peculiar to a married person. The clothing all standing stiff as they are all new, can feel the smell of the new clothes. more to is that smell of the flowers, the smell of the day old fruits kept at the room. Unsure of what happened, I am able to check that I am still intact in wearing what i could have worn earlier as no one could buttoned me with the shirt in my sleep. having sensed the existence of another person in the room, I become a bit more conscious that I try to check up on myself, my breath, my hair, my hands and my face. emerging from the rest-room, i see her for the first time...
Clad in silk Saree that is not donned in the way it should have been, I am able to see her with the water dripping out of the face and her eyes trying hard to look through her lashes that are interlaced with water drops. Could see a quirkiness in the motion that's a characteristic of a person who is conscious that they are being watched over by a bare minimum of two eyes. with her movement, the hair lock that was tied on her back of her head with a cheap plastic clip that yielded to her hair was a sight of amazement to look at. I wouldnt blame on the towel that she had used to tie up the hair, it did its best to hold them together. But the silky hair that is straight and thick enough that just an inch slip would weigh heavily with water that the cloth had to yield. the slipped hair just fell like a unleashed curtain from the eye hole of the curtain retainer. only when she had dabbed her face with the towel and removed it, was able to see her face completely when she had pulled back the hair that was veiling her face. She had an eyebrow that was long and was carved to perfection. It extended beyond the boundary of her sharp eyes so as to cover it completely in the shape of a sword that was tapered at the end. the hair on her eyebrows were thick enough not to allow any light beyond. She just parted her lips to start conversation, the parting of lips were spellbinding as if separating the bud leaves of a baby rose that hasn't been open yet and also was in water.
Knowing that she is bit hesitating to talk first, thought I will break the silence, asked her how she is feeling the morning. a throttled reply in terms of pace and voice, echoed that she is fine. I found that her eyes were looking at me even though they were not gazing me. though a bit wierd, it seemed sweet. I was a bit impatient at that moment and had to break the air of anonymity and discomfort. So said, lets go and have something for breakfast. She said in a shy voice that was better than earlier, its all prepared, Mom said so. I didnt do anything. Being the very first day, I did not feel that I can ask anything about it. I had to fresh up and be at the kitchen as there is no dining room separately available at our house. The kitchen side wall was cleaned up and it had this new mat that was folded and laid with plates having drops of water here and there indicating that they were just cleaned in running water below that tap. something new in the usual routine, I thought. Once I sat, I started watching her and trying to be sure that no one notices me that I am noticing her. I was a getting aware of her physical presence more and more. She is just couple of cms shorter than me and have long hands and legs which i desire a lot. I desire all the characters that I do not have. By the time I could take shower, her hair had become dry (never know why girls like to take head bath thrice a week ?) Her hair shines in the light as if its a made of nylon strings. they are all in the same color and shade and are straight hairs naturally. Was amazed at the fact that when it was wet, I couldn't even guess that the hairs that looked normal when wet can become a charm of the life.
Could realize that steaming idlys were being served, I was having the seat with the elders in the family and the smaller kiddos were playing along, the younger gang of the family were all staring at me and commenting occasionally, and giggling. I could sense that, once , I used to do it for others, its their turn now. At the same time felt that I am being added as part of the elders into the elite group of people. When it came to serving at the plates, it was a bit of a tough chore for her. She tried bending and serving the chutney wherein she had to bend herself and the saree would get caught in her legs. After couple of times this happened, she was brave enough to pull the saree from just below the hip, and tuck it at her hips. That was adorable as she didnt give up. I was smiling to myself. Felt like a tiny drop of water fell on my cheek like during the beginning of the rain shower.
Had a brief moment where general talks prevailed all over, like the settlement talks by periappa etc. I had to ignore all of them and walked straight down the hall into the room. She was just about to set the things right. before even she could ask anything, I asked
Jo, shall we go out ?
could see a brief shock and awe but she quickly recovered and said
Yes, should I change my dress.
you look good in this and moreover I see that anylonger we wait, we are going to be in a trap for formalities etc.
Could see her picking the comb from table, placing them right at the center where she had partition, and pulling hem sideways, which would enable ironing the hair strands that were hanging out of place. Not even did she plan to pick her handbag, but picked her miniature leather wallet which fitted to her arm wound around and had an inch protruding to the front and to the back. her fingers were slender and long, nails pink in color and that almost matched her complexion. Just at the first look, her complexions is like a mera wala cream. that mostly goes well with all sorts of colors, including the darker beige which is my color.
mummy, we are leaving outside, will be back in few mins. I gave a quick update... and as I walked via the hall, periappa asked,
where are you both planning to go? to the church ?
DING! the bulb in me started glowing, didnt event accept or deny, just smiled and nodded head in both the ways and turned to see that she was missing. the next voice I could hear was hers and
aunty, we are leaving out and will be back soon.
uncle, we are leaving yada yada
periappa, yaada yaada.
thought of saying, you forgot to hug the walls of the house goodbye too. didnt and cannot be so rude and never can be .. i think so.
Getting out of the house was like getting a gatepass from the central jail... by the time, I reached for my bike, I could see that she was wearing her foot wear. I could see that she had a longer second finger that surpassed the first thumb finger by a couple of cms. I have heard that people with that kind of finger, usually try to dominate their partner. Then I didnt have to bother about that much. Because I too have a simiar arrangement. Hence it might get canceled. her feel was broad and long that flat chappals would suit her color and her foot. particularly the trendy ones like the light copper sulfate blue, beige. Her darker shade at the knuckle to the either outer side of the body indicated that she was brought up as like me that used to sit on the floor with legs folded. this is important for our middle class family as we need to sit down to have food rather than have food on a dining table.
are you comfortable sitting?
i think I am not finding any thing to hold on to. she said
its ok, you can hold my shoulder.
There was a silence after which I could feel her first touch which was meticulously planned so that she does not loose her balance and neither do I feel the complete pressure. I could feel the warmth of her hand in couple of minutes as she even hesitated to move her hand. But I could sense that she wanted to explore my shoulders. hmmm usual trait of a cancerian ??
She didnt talk as she expected me to break the ice. I was holding on to my talks to allow her to break the ice and to see if she is comfortable. I heard a mild cough and then felt she wants to talk and it waiting for her turn. I turned my head for a brief moment to ensure that I get her attention and said,
Jo, you know where are we going?
No
do you like having a cup of coffee
yes, but you dont like it right?
yes, but I like cold coffee with choco.
then we can go, no problem. I like the coffee that they serve with the heart shape in he froath. it looks very nice, when I saw it first, I was so happy to know that someone can dear on the coffee. when mom gives coffee, i try to blow the foam in a leaf form for which I have to use my finger.
there was a pause, I said
ahan
so we can go, no problem.
Her long talk for a small topic made me smile inside my helmet that it showcased her eagerness to talk and talk a lot. That is something that I desire a lot. I needed someone who can keep talking even when I am not talking. The talking nature is the one that would be accompanying us both in the long run. So I was throwing a smile of joy. By the time we reached coffee day, I could learn that she knows driving as she had used my shoulder as handle bar of the vehicle. I felt the warmth of her touch still remained on me even after she got down. She adjusted her saree a bit when I was not looking, but come on, its obvious. some guys, like me have eyes on their back too. The moment I am emotionally attached, the sync messages are always flowing across.
After ordering the coffee the conversation started :
when did you get up, i said
an hour and half before you, took bath, then came and helped aunty in preparation, then returned to the room and was washing my face when you woke up.
oh. impressive, is it that you wake up early every day.
no, not so, I couldnt get much sleep as the place was new, she almost lamented.
saw her childish habit coming out unnoticed as she was engrossed in talking to me. her hands were folding a tissue paper, unfolding them out, then folding back.
Was watching her neck with the glittering piece of gold hanging there and then realized, am I married now? completely? hmmm time to reveal.
said in a low voice...
hey, I had to tell you something.
excuse me sir, your cold sparkle with hazlenut sauce and cafe latte - this voice of bearer broke my flow
you were saying something , she said in a try to keep continuing.
hmm, i was saying, that do you feel that there is some magical change after the marriage hapened.
keeping the cofee cup down, her face turned towards one side to indicate she is trying to concentrate, asked
may be I didnt understand, can you please repeat?
I said, in simple plain terms, I like you, but I am not sure if I had started to love you yet. So was trying to ask if you also had a similar opinion. Sorry if you feel offended, I did not mean that, just wanted to know how you felt.
she sported her shy smile, the smile in which her clearly laid teeth would be visible in a perfect symmetry, i could see her incisors end only. With that she said
When I first saw you, I liked your way of talking to people, I liked the way you cared for your niece who had come with you, above all, you were always smiling even when my uncle was asking you questions about your property etc. I know love is not born in a single day, but I liked you to an extent that I felt I would be better partner for you in all aspects and I would have to gain some confidence before I can taste your love. Now that you have told about it in a clean frank way, I am ready to wait, wait till you feel comfortable, till you feel what you had imagined has come true in life. I wouldn't be deterrent from this decision and at the same time, i need to give your space that you need.
For a person like me, I never expected such a boldness in her in expressing in clear words. and I was swept off my feet at that moment and she appeared to me in total different way... was it her avathar or something that sprang from her emanating such a mature, such a kind thought. I was the one who was using the straw and using the hole in the lid as pivot to rotate it to ensure all the ice in the cold coffee got melted. Infact before it could melt, my heart melted and it was like throwing me off the top step to something lower. I felt something was started in me. I dont know what. Looking at the watch, i realized that it was 1.5 hours since we reached. we did talk about college etc their family etc. but nothing was in my mind, I didnt even rememebr the names of her neices, i wished that we never meet them and she would say.. "u remember I was mentioning about them in coffeeday"
to me, I was like feeling that day was passing like a train ahead of me, I am supposed to be near my seat, but felt the train move faster which was like I was kind of lost in time. decided to move from there, when she sat on the bike, her grip was harder than when we came, I could hear some sentences from her about her driving scooty. Entire day, though physically present at the chair, my mind was hovering about the things that happened at the coffee day. My view point on her had changed drastically. I was looking at each and every step of her. Noticing the way she walked, the way she smiled, the way she would put her fingers on top of the kids head and fluff her hair and shake it up in a fondly way.
a single coffee changed things a lot... a lot can happen over a coffee??? true....
to be started - my life in a e-jungle manuscript.
posted by Vinoth at
12:14 AM
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